i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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