OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
