She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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