So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
