I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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