yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
