when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize