there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize