Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
