I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
