While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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