finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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