Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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