shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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