I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
