Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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