I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize