hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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