it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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