Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Success! We fucked roommates!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
