butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
