i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
