Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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