got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
