just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
