Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
