I want to walk on stilts...naked
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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