That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
