it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
