You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
3 2 1 whiskey
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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