don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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