...so i touched it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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