Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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