Pappa wants mamma naked
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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