yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
