I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
