Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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