I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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