she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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