you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
