I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
