please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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