Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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