i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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