This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
