There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
