Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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