my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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