Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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