Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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