what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
