Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
