you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
