You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
